I have moved on...and who says God did not walk with me all throughout my journey?

To recap and to really just want to refresh your memory, just for the heck of it yeah, (at least to those who may have found me online and those who have been following me all this time) that I joined the Benedictine Monastery of Christ in the Desert in Abiquiu NM, USA so I became monk in year 2002, took my Simple Vows in year 2003, and then completed my monastic formation in Simple Vows three years later.

In year 2006, I received monastic blessings from my Abbot Superior when I professed my Solemn-Perpetual monastic Vows. But I just want to remind you before I skip and totally forget it that prior to that, I have started blogging in year 2004 which is why my published posts were dated back in that particular year. In year 2008, my superior sent me to the Catholic Seminary of Saint Meinrad Theological Seminary in Indiana, USA to undergo Seminary studies and burn midnight candles to be able to get through  with my Priestly Formation Program.

I'm back on tracks and is up and running

fixed

ghosts of the past

saved

friendzone

a brother and sister

monks' bonding

seminarians

man, woman, monk...

good trip

Good Friday reminiscences

taking care of my mother

She suffered a hip injury in January of 2010. I was at the seminary of St Vincent in Latrobe Pennsylvania taking my seminary studies for priesthood formation. I had to ask for a leave of absence from the seminary Rector to be able to come home to the Philippines and attend to her. It took me nearly six months before I came back to the USA.
I did not make it to the seminary then. I discontinued my studies, filed for exclaustration from my own community superior, and looked for a job to sustain my life outside the Cloister. In December of year 2011, my mother passed. I went home for the wake and funeral. It was painful. The grief was uncontainable. I went back to Los Angeles in December 26th to continue the grieving while away from my family.

vocational discernment

This was during one of the faculty retreats of the San Beda College Grade School teachers within the school year, that I started getting attracted to the Religious life. This was in late 1990's that I started to yearn for a higher and deeper communion with God. This was the year when I started shying away from my regular routines of weekend jamming with acquaintances and aimless stroll to the city's red light districts during the nights.

This was the time when I started evaluating myself and my spiritual stand. This was the time I started evaluating my relationship with God. This was the time when I asked myself: what would happen to my soul when I die, will it go to heaven or hell? or purgatory?..

There were endless questions in my mind and so the discernment period in my life began. I thought I may have an inclination to a potential vocation. So I needed to spend time, usually anywhere from six months to a year, praying and asking God to enlighten me. I felt that I might be called to a religious life so I encouraged myself to seek a spiritual director to help me along the way.

I may be called to a religious life as a non-ordained monk or a Brother. Monks are usually members of cloistered communities like the Benedictine monks of our lady of Monserrat who owns  and run  San Beda College where I was hired as grade school teacher since 1985... I thought that I can be a monk who can take vows of poverty, celibacy, and obedience. My co-teachers in San Beda Grade School  ridiculed me after they learned of it.

 Nobody believed me that I could  live a life of a monk...until then.

4th of July celebration

a sight no tongue can describe

living in symbiosis

Over exposure to the sun, to the chlorinated water and to the fun-filled day with friends and colleagues.

Snow flakes in Spring at the Canyons.

dip in a pool with warm springwater