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Friday, July 18, 2014

vocational discernment

This was during one of the faculty retreats of the San Beda College Grade School teachers within the school year, that I started getting attracted to the Religious life. This was in late 1990's that I started to yearn for a higher and deeper communion with God. This was the year when I started shying away from my regular routines of weekend jamming with acquaintances and aimless stroll to the city's red light districts during the nights.

This was the time when I started evaluating myself and my spiritual stand. This was the time I started evaluating my relationship with God. This was the time when I asked myself: what would happen to my soul when I die, will it go to heaven or hell? or purgatory?..

There were endless questions in my mind and so the discernment period in my life began. I thought I may have an inclination to a potential vocation. So I needed to spend time, usually anywhere from six months to a year, praying and asking God to enlighten me. I felt that I might be called to a religious life so I encouraged myself to seek a spiritual director to help me along the way.

I may be called to a religious life as a non-ordained monk or a Brother. Monks are usually members of cloistered communities like the Benedictine monks of our lady of Monserrat who owns  and run  San Beda College where I was hired as grade school teacher since 1985... I thought that I can be a monk who can take vows of poverty, celibacy, and obedience. My co-teachers in San Beda Grade School  ridiculed me after they learned of it.

 Nobody believed me that I could  live a life of a monk...until then.

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